the magic is deceptive

Floating.
like a child's lost balloon
and I don't know where to land
how to find stable ground
swimming---
through thick unchartered waters with little sound reaching across
the barriers that dictate my identity.
the far-reaching limitations of what I know
what I don't know
what I cannot allow to be true
Joan Didion's ordinary instant stays with me
that split second that takes everything away
changes infinite lives across the globe
in one every day rhythm never before noticed
all like the next 15 thousand moments
that indicate
infiltrate
undetermined
yet to be discovered destinations
far beyond the winding California roads
between vineyards freshly harvested

skirting around the real words
aimlessly searching
for scraps amidst the meaninglessness
sifting through this mess reaches no
conclusion